For the last 10 years I have worked and played on a computer for 8+ hours a day,
leaving little room for much else while not always accomplishing anything. My
cellphone became something I would reach for first thing in the morning, in the
middle of the night if I couldn’t sleep, or when I had any idle moment.
I began my year off by spending one week away from these devices that I’ve
become so accustomed to using all day, every day.
While my year off is a reboot of my lifestyle, my week off-grid was a reboot of
my use of technology. I make a living off of technology, but the
always-available nature of the internet allowed me to get into unhealthy usage
habits like checking email multiple times a day, reading websites that haven’t
changed in the five minutes since I last read them, or taking my phone out of my
pocket to fill time that would be better spent interacting with the people
around me or reading a book or writing or reflecting on the moment. Backing away
from screens would hopefully allow me to be more present and focused.
On the night before I began this week off-grid, I powered off my laptop and my
cellphone. For 7 days they sat on my dresser, unused. I also did not watch any
TV during this time. Instead I planned to read, write, walk, and be outside. My
parents were around for 5 of the 7 days, so I wasn’t in complete isolation, and
they were nice enough to not turn on the TV or talk about current events. I also
told some close friends about my plans so they knew what I was up to.
As the week unfolded I felt more focused when doing one thing at a time. I spent
a lot of time sitting outside and thinking about nothing. It was so refreshing.
My head was clear. I stopped reaching for my phone that wasn’t there. I was
enjoying being disconnected.
I journaled each night before going to bed. I was at a lake house so I strung
up my hammock on the dock for a reading/thinking/napping spot. The background
noise of birds chirping, water flowing, boats passing, and the occasional rain
storm on the metal roof set a relaxing mood.
When my parents and I went to a friend’s graduation party, I felt much more
engaged with those around me. Even when I wasn’t talking to anyone I could sit
with my own thoughts and be happy.
It took 4 days until I had a strong urge to get my phone out and look things up.
Luckily that day I had some house work to do to keep me active.
As the end of the week neared, I felt like I was getting what I wanted from the
experience. I also started to miss my friends! The wonderful thing about the
internet is how connected we can be to the people we love no matter how far away
they are. It’s no substitute for connecting in-person, but as I travel around I
enjoy being able to talk to my family and friends from wherever I am. It makes
them seem a little closer even though I’m (currently) an ocean away.
There’s no escaping the fact that I need my computer and the internet to write
software and make a living. I love making things - software or blogs or
videos or pictures - and my computer is the tool that usually helps me
with that. I also enjoy seeing what others have created or learning something
new, often on social media or around the internet.
There’s also no denying the utility of a smartphone. I can navigate around a
foreign city, pay my credit card bill, transfer money into my checking account
when I need to use an ATM, and send my travel partner my half of a dinner bill,
all from a device that fits in my pocket. I can also endlessly scroll through
Instagram and Twitter, check and re-check the same websites, and feel a
compulsion to talk to people through that device instead of enjoying whatever
moment I am experiencing.
Hopefully by stripping out all of the excess and unnecessary usage of my phone
and computer I can re-learn to use them only for necessary utility and for
creating. And when I don’t need to do either I can choose to do something else
like read or be active or meet someone new or do nothing.
Am I perfectly cured of my bad technology habits? No. But going off-grid for a
week made me more aware of them and one by one I’m working to change them. I’ve
removed all social media apps from my phone, in favor of logging into
Instagram or Twitter or YouTube on my laptop. This helps me to
limit my usage to once a day or less, and I don’t feel the need to take my
phone out nearly as much. I’ve been able to keep myself from unnecessarily
checking websites throughout the day, and I’m trying to use the web browser only
when I really need to look up travel info.
I find that it’s important to learn how to slow down, and to make sure that the
things I’m doing are important to me instead of them being habit or “that’s how
it’s always been done.” Going off-grid gave me a clear head to see what my
priorities are, and in the time since then I’ve been working on clearing out
what’s not.
I will absolutely go off-grid again, and likely will do it at least once more
during this year off.
I’ve written various forms of this post as journal entries over the last 18
months. The first was 17 January 2017 (yes, 2017) when I wrote:
“I have decided to take a one year sabbatical beginning 1 June 2018. The timing
is such that it’ll take place during the last 6 months of my 20s and the first 6
months of my 30s. This will signify in many ways a transition into my 30s and
will set my pace of life for the following few years. I don’t yet have an idea
as to exactly what I’ll do on this break, but I do know that I’d like to take
the time to refocus my life and make sure I’m living every aspect of it as I
want to instead of how I think other people think I should.”
My decision to take a year off was gut instinct. I’ve learned to
trust my gut instinct because it’s usually right, no matter how difficult it may
be to accept or act on what needs to be done. I remember the feeling of making
this particular decision. It was refreshing - powerful, almost - to be able to
step out of the norm of my life and get back to where my heart has been for a
while. And being four months into it now, I can say that it was the right
decision.
I have wanted to take some sort of break since my final two years of college (I
was there for six years). I worked all through college, first as an intern at an
architectural testing firm and then writing software for a startup, and was
burnt out. I wanted to do nothing for a few months. To recharge. But I hadn’t
saved up enough money to be able to do that so I pushed through and put the
idea on the back burner.
A couple of years after I graduated from college I hit a low point, and through
that did a lot of growing up and learning about life. I made career and
financial goals to work towards in the second half of my 20s. I met those goals
and did things that I had no idea were possible back when I made them, but I
felt like something was missing. I hadn’t really taken care of myself.
While I spent the whole of my 20s investing in and building my career, I didn’t
do much to invest in myself personally. I wasn’t taking care of my mind and body
and spirit as much as I should have been. Now that I’m in a position to cash in
on my career investments and get a year’s worth of work weeks to myself, I am
making me a priority.
This year I’m doing the things that make me happy, push me out of my comfort
zone, make me active, and get me ready for my 30s.
The first stop on my year-off travels was Iceland! I went with two
friends and former roommates, Nicole and Merjen. We were there for
5 days, 11 August through 16 August, and spent our time exploring the south
coast.
Check out the photo galleries I posted:
Part 1 - Days 1 and 2. From Reykjavik to Hella, then to Vik.
Part 2 - Day 3. From Vik to Hof then back to Selfoss.
Part 3 - Days 4 and 5. Grindavik and Reykjavik.
Our last two days in Iceland were spent in and around Reykjavik. First was
Gulfoss Falls, Hallgrímskirkja, and Rainbow Road (which was painted for the
Pride parade). On our final day in Iceland we dropped off Merjen at Blue Lagoon
and explored around Grindavik.
I put together a video of these couple of days: Last Day in Iceland. Next Stop:
Sweden.
See photos 📸
Day three in Iceland took us east from Vik out to Diamond Beach at
Breiðamerkurjökull Glacier and Jökulsárlón glacier lagoon. The Sun made a
showing while we were out there but quickly retreated as we drove back west to
Selfoss, stopping at Fjaðrárgljúfur Canyon.
I put together a video of this part of the trip: Diamond Beach and Glacier
Lagoon.
See photos 📸
The first stop on my year off travels was Iceland! These pictures are from the
first two days.
On day one we drove from Reykjavík to Thingvellir National Park, then to
Geysir and finally Hella for the night. Day two was particularly busy with stops
at Seljalandsfoss, Seljavallalaug Swimming Pool, Skógafoss, Sólheimajökull
Glacier, Kirkjufjara beach, and Reynisfjara Beach aka Black Sand Beach.
I also put together some videos of this part of the trip: Day One and
Waterfalls and Beaches and Glaciers.
See photos 📸
A quick preface/disclaimer/warning: I put this post together from a few of my
journal entries. They were written in near real-time while I was experiencing
the death of a man who I didn’t know. He died near my family’s lake house last
weekend, where I’ve been spending this summer.
Saturday, 9 June 2018
Saturday started out like any other day. I woke up around 9:30A.M., took a
shower, ate breakfast, and read in my hammock on the dock. After eating a late
lunch I went back down to the dock to shave my head. When I got there I noticed
a massive storm sitting over the lake to the north and west. It began thundering
so I went back up to the house. My brother Price and I started planning his
bachelor weekend.
The sky darkened with clouds as the storm made its way south. The wind picked up
and was blowing off the lake, towards our house. There were whitecaps on the lake
and our windows rattled with a few gusts of wind. Waves were breaking onto the dock.
Lightning was flashing on the far side of the lake. It wasn’t raining.
Price and I looked out the windows and noticed that two boats - a pontoon boat
and a speedboat - were meeting a pair of kayakers out on the lake, maybe 100
yards off our dock. The pontoon boat floated between us and the kayaks, blocking
our view of them. This was all far enough away that we couldn’t see what was
going on, so Price got our binoculars. I could see people on the boats, and the
two kayaks were vertical and mostly underwater. The boats were floating north
and neither seemed to have their engine turned on. But nobody was trying to get
the kayaks. Or the paddles. There were life jackets in the water. There wasn’t
anybody else on the lake. Something seemed off.
Price walked down to our dock when the boats floated out of eyesight (some of
our trees block the view to the north, so we couldn’t see anything after the
boats floated past our neighbor’s dock.) Melinda, our neighbor to the south,
walked over to meet him. After a minute or two I heard sirens. As I walked down
to the dock, Price was running up to the road to meet the firetruck.
When I got to the dock Melinda looked very concerned. She told me that she
thought someone went under. That took me a second to process, but there wasn’t
any time to think on it because the two boats were driving towards our dock.
The speedboat arrived first, on the north side of our dock. On board was a
woman, her brother, and three children. The man helped to keep the boat from
slamming into the dock, as the wind and waves had not calmed down. I helped the
three kids and the woman off the boat. I took down my hammock so it wasn’t in
the way.
The pontoon boat arrived next with two young couples and a woman on board. Price
helped tie it up to the front of the dock. The woman got off first, crying and
in shock. Another woman got off and looked at me with the widest eyes, a look
that I won’t soon forget.
The first woman was met by an EMT who walked her to an ambulance. She and her
husband had fallen off their kayaks and into the water. Her husband drowned.
At this point the firefighters had arrived on our dock. One of them got in the
speedboat to go back out to where the man drowned. An ambulance was parked in
Melinda’s driveway. Police officers arrived in plain clothes because they had
all been enjoying the weekend and were not on duty.
Slowly more and more emergency personnel showed up. The Sheriff. His lieutenant
and deputies. More firefighters. More officers. They took our statements. Price
and I put folding chairs out for the two couples who were in the pontoon boat.
The two kayakers had been out on the lake for the day. They were on the far side of
the lake when the storm began rolling in. They decided to make their way to the
other side of the lake - where our house is, and near where they had put the
kayaks in - which is almost a mile across. Neither had a life jacket on, and
neither knew how to swim well. They were panicking and paddling hard.
They flagged down two boats when they were about 3/4s of the way across. A wave
knocked him out of his kayak. He grabbed her kayak, flipping her out. The people
in the pontoon boat threw all of their life jackets towards him. He wouldn’t put
one on. He was panicking. They got her onto the boat. When they went back to get
him he was gone. This all happened in the moments before Price and I looked
through binoculars to see the kayaks vertical in the water.
The emergency personnel cleared everyone off our dock. Sheriff Hancock asked
Price and I if they could use our dock and our yard and we said of course. The
dive team showed up and used the pontoon boat, which was a rental. Boats from
the Department of Natural Resources were gridding the search area with sonar.
Off-duty police officers who were on their personal fishing boats joined in the
search.
I walked up to the house to calm down and drink some water. I started writing.
“They’re currently still searching. It’s 7:09 PM. He went under at probably
4:00P.M.”
A light rain began.
I met Mercedes. She was in the speedboat. I helped her and the three kids off
when they got to our dock.
I met Zach, he went kayaking with him three weeks ago.
I met her cousin. She was thankful we let the family sit on our porch, which was
out of eyesight of the local media who had arrived.
Police tape was strung across our yard and into Melinda’s yard, on the side of
our house facing the road. The Sheriff’s Command Center RV was parked in our
driveway. The dive team’s pickup truck was parked in our yard by the dock.
The young couples that were on the pontoon boat were brought back to the marina
where they rented it from to get their car. We’ve since only spoken to them via
text message.
The dive team packed up after sunset, around 9P.M. They’ll be back at 6:30A.M.
Price and I walked down to our dock, which was quiet except for the boats still
gridding nearby. Two police officers were there. They told us at least one will
be there all night. The rental pontoon boat was tied up to the end of our dock.
I didn’t sleep well that night. I was mostly up thinking through too many what-if
scenarios.
Sunday, 10 June 2018
Price and I went for a walk, maybe around 10A.M. When we were out we heard and
then saw a helicopter flying up and down the shoreline of the lake and then back
to the search area off our dock. It was the Georgia State Patrol, who were
called in to assist in the search. We were out for about an hour. On our way
back in we could see the enormity of the recovery effort. In addition to the
Sheriff’s Command Center, there were at least five other vehicles in our front
yard and another five down by our dock. A fire truck was parked on the street.
Across the street were at least ten vehicles. A few media vehicles were parked
along the street. A tent was setup near the Command Center with food and drinks.
I met Jason, his brother. He arrived late at night and slept in his car in
our driveway.
I hadn’t fully processed the situation, so instead of sitting inside I walked
over to Melinda’s to talk to her and her husband, Eddy. I watched the
helicopter flying directly overhead. I watched the boats on the water, the
divers in the water, the people all over our dock and our yard. I met a county
commissioner and some folks from the Sheriff’s office who I talked with for a
while.
A cadaver dog arrived and went out on a boat. I’m not sure how that works but I
believe it’s trained to bark if it smells a human. Since there were other
boaters out on the lake the dog’s senses were thrown off and it was barking
quite a bit. The dog was biting at the water that went past the boat, which is
something our family dog used to do.
I spent four or five hours on Eddy and Melinda’s dock. The Sheriff came over to
chat at one point. It was after 9P.M. when they called off the search for the
day. Price and I went back up to the house, and to take our minds off things we
watched a Tig Notaro standup on Netflix. I barely made it through without
falling asleep. I slept like a rock that night.
Monday, 11 June 2018
On Monday morning around 8A.M. Price and I were sitting on the porch swing. The
emergency personnel were just getting started for the day. The helicopter was
circling the lake when the pilot spotted him floating. We watched the boats -
two pontoon boats for the divers, a few DNR boats - all converge very quickly.
Sheriff Hancock walked up towards us and, giving a thumbs-up, told us they’d
found him. He walked Jason to a neighbor’s dock where the wife and other family
were waiting.
The helicopter landed in a nearby yard. The boats slowly made their way back
towards our dock. Holding on to the front of one of the pontoon boats were two
divers in the water. They were holding onto an orange bag. The coroner showed up
and backed his truck to the steps that lead down to our dock. The divers carried
him out of the water and onto our dock, then up to the coroner.
The divers packed and cleaned our dock. The coroner drove away. The Sheriff
walked up and thanked us for the use of our yard and dock.
In no more than an hour the pickup trucks and the SUVs were gone. The
Sheriff’s Command Center RV was gone. The police tape was taken down. The family
left. The boats drove away.
Price and I walked down to our dock for the first time since Saturday. We moved
the fenders back to the side of the dock. I put my hammock back up and laid in
it for a while.
The man was a body builder. He was around 6'5" 250lbs, all muscle. It took less
than a minute for him to go under. There was nothing Price and I, or anyone
else, could have done. The people on the two boats that met them did everything
they could have.
If you’re on the water, please have a life jacket available - one that is fitted
to your body size. Learn to swim. Learn to tread water. Learn to float.
Understand how quickly this could happen to even the strongest person.
Later in the week Price and I were in Florida to celebrate our niece’s sixth
birthday. We went out on a friend’s boat with six kids and three other adults.
It was our first time on the water since this whole experience. The kids all had
life jackets on, and there were enough on the boat for the adults. I found
myself double checking, even though I’d been out on this boat with these people
before and it probably hadn’t crossed my mind. Having grown up around boats and
on the water, these things are second-nature to me. We had a lovely time.
The water will always be a part of my life. It makes me happy and calm. I feel
most relaxed and peaceful when I’m swimming or sailing or on a beach. Last
weekend I was reminded of the power of water. I’ll never take it for granted
again.
Today is my last day at The New York Times. Working here for the last two years
has been the most incredible experience of my career up to this point. I have
learned so much, I have grown as a person and as an engineer, and I have worked
with the best damn team that I could have asked for. I will miss you all
greatly.
Tomorrow I get to start an adventure that I have wanted to go on for many years.
I’ve waited for this, preparing financially and professionally for the day that
I would feel comfortable leaving a steady income and jumping into a big unknown.
I will be traveling for most of the year with few concrete plans, which is
exciting and scary and I can’t wait.
If you want to follow along I will be posting regular updated here and on my
Instagram and YouTube accounts!
Edit: I wrote about why I’m taking this year off.
Edit: I am posting videos from the trip.
Day 10 of the trip was the last day we were in Japan.
Our Airbnb hosts had a lovely breakfast prepared for us when we woke up.
James had to leave super early that morning, but Nicole, Paul, and I decided to
go into Tokyo one last time to see the Imperial Palace and eat lunch. The palace
was closed but we got to walk around the grounds.
We then got on the Narita Express train to take us to the airport. I said
goodbye to Nicole (who I would see the next day because we’re roommates) and
Paul and headed to Terminal 2 for my flight back to NYC.
This is the final video of the Japan 2017 Series! Look forward to a
lot more travel content to come later this summer, as I’m leaving my job
this week to start a new adventure.
On day 9 of the trip we headed back near Tokyo for our last night in Japan.
Our bullet train left Osaka Station at 1:43PM and we arrived in Tokyo around
5PM. We then headed to our Airbnb in Chiba, which is on the north side of Tokyo
and closer to Narita Airport, which we’d all be going to the next day.
The house we stayed in was a lovely traditional Japanese home where a family of
three lived. The mother and daughter were learning English together, and one of
the ways they practiced was by giving guests a tour of their house.
We headed out to find dinner, but on a week night this far outside of Tokyo most
places were closing early. We ended up in a mall that was eerily empty but had
some snack food to try out. For dinner we of course chose the place that spoke
zero english, and google translate wasn’t much help. The meal ended up being
really good though.
Afterwards we walked in the rain to an American bar which was run by a
Japanese-speaking Persian man. At the bar we watched the movie Bartender
starring Tom Cruise, and enjoyed our last night in Japan.
On day ten of the trip: we leave our Airbnb and head into Tokyo one last
time, before making our way to the airport to fly home.